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The Dead Want Women (2012)
2012 | Color | 74 Minutes | Horror | Rated R | Full Moon Horror
Director:

Charles Band

Writers:

Charles Band

Kent Roudebush

Stars: 

Jessica Morris

Ariana Madix 

Eric Roberts

The Roaring Twenties end in a SCREAM when the first talking movie debuts. The world's biggest female silent movie star, Rose Pettigrew, goes on a killing spree when she loses her studio contract, murdering her friends and co-stars - Tubby Fitzgerald, the comedian, Erik Burke, the horror icon and Sonny Barnes (ERIC ROBERTS), the cowboy - before taking her own life.

Rose's mansion has stood empty for decades, but when two realtors Reese (JESSICA MORRIS) and Danni (ARIANA MADIX) finally buy the house to remodel and sell it, they discover that there are more than skeletons in the closets.

Haunted by the ghosts of a time long ago, the girls quickly find that they have been cast in a nightmare that will never end.

Being a fan of Full Moon Horror I hate saying this but this movie was not the studio's best work. And it's a shame on so many levels. This movie is clean looks really good easy to watch. Has the strongest cast I have seen in a Charles Band movie. A good story line. Fantastic make-up effects by Tom Devlin and Rocky Calderon. But the movie still falls short. 

I think the blame falls on the movie being to clean really. It's a haunted house that sits empty for 80 years and everything is spotless. And after Rose off's everybody, they turn into a ghost that looks like zombies? And their little "Man Cave" is even clean. Amazing after 80 years no cobwebs. They must not have spiders in Hollywood. Speaking of 80-year-old ghost zombies what is up with the two nude girls they got off easy. After 80 years they still look great and no sagging!! But why did they not turn into zombies??

The two leads in this movie Jessica Morris and Ariana Madix are a true bright spot. They are two cuties that worked very well together. The actor who plays Tubby (J. Scott) was also a bright spot in this movie. I liked his character and he played it spot on. Even Jean Louise O'Sullivan (Alien Inhabitant, Ginger Dead Man 3) who played Rose Pettigrew was easy on the eyes and played her character well.

Let's talk about Eric Roberts for a moment shall we? With a $500,000 dollar budget, he most likely was paid half of that. And he was horrible it felt like he just phoned it in. The dude gets to do a sex scene with a hot full nude girl in front of him and he totally acts like a teenager. I could not stop laughing all I could think is this is what he looks like at home! Oh, it was horrible but It's worth the rental just to see how bad it is.

OK back to the review the pace of this movie is the true killer here. Like I said this is a great cast and they do their job well. Band and his editor, on the other hand, did not want to this movie to run only 60 minutes I think. Cutting those extra 14 minutes from this movie would have made it better. I truly found myself fast forwarding in two different spots. The music also did not help the pace of the movie as well. I understand its the 20's and they went for that feel but it dragged it down.

So, in conclusion, this movie is a dollar at your nearest Red Box so if it is raining and your cable goes out and you have nothing better to do check out Morris and Madixin this movie they are going to be the next true up and comers. And its worth it to see Roberts dry hump in the worst way possible and for Tom Devlin's really good make up.

Its not worth seeing for the set's lack of cob webs and very slow pacing did I mention that there is nudity and hot girl on girl action??

Sorry, Uncle Charles only 2 bloody brains for The Dead Want Women!

And only 2 bloody brains for The Dead Want Women! And One squashy brain for Eric Roberts sex scene 

PS Charles what is wrong with a 60 minute movie "The Masters of Horror" pulled it off. Just wondering.

This post is also part of May Monster Movie week. Day 7